Check in

I should perhaps just post something to let people know that I am still actually alive and have not decided to throw myself from a tall building.
Just as an example of what a fun guy I am yesterday me and my brother went to the V Festival in Chelmsford Essex and after about an hour and a half left again having seen the sum total three songs.
I don’t really know why we both felt uncomfortable there but we did and so we left much to the incredulity of the gate stewards who thought we were trying to pull a fast one.
I guess I should explain the reason why I have not posted anything for so long I’m having what could be described as an existential crisis, and to be perfectly honest I’ve gotten round to such a feeling of despondency and apathy that I can hardly leave the house, though staying in does my head in and going out does it in as well.
I should never have asked myself ‘why does anything exist?’ though thats only part of the problem.
It sounds cliched by really what is the goddamned point to anything? and how can we be certain what right and wrong are if indeed they are individual concepts and not just predicates of mans need for explanation to the world.
What is the point of idealism in a world where people don’t actually want it?
Times like these its like wading through a thick sludge, an oilslick on the intellectual beach, a broken tanker spewing out its guts of viscous, clogging, drowning indecision and faithlessness.