I’m sorry sir, we don’t like your type around here
March 26, 2008 by scottcarless
Poor old Alistair Darling. All he did was design a budget that was centered around alienating every single person in the country from the Labour Party…and he succeeded did he not?
It seems rather unfair that for his efforts he is likely to be barred from the majority of British pubs due to the campaign to have the Chancellor blacklisted nationally.
Not that he is going to be too bothered about such a turnout, seeing as Parliament has its own private smoking allowed bar for him to drown his sorrows in.
Plus I doubt it is much of a loss being barred from the Lamb and Flag in central Hammersmith…nor for that matter some local pubs I could mention.
I wonder if they could extend the campaign to nightclubs as well? I can see the conversation at the door as the Chancellor strolled up to the Bouncer.
‘That Tie…That Hair…Those eyebrows; I don’t think so sir’
‘Don’t you know who I am?!’
‘Hang on…well blow me…you’re the Chancellor of the Exchequer!’
‘Exactly now let me in or I’ll raise the tax on three quarter length leather jackets and knuckledusters’
‘Hmm….well don’t say I didn’t warn you sir’
(Mr Darling enters)
The next day we would be greeted with the headline.
CHANCELLOR LYNCHED BY ANGRY CLUBBERS!
This might seem slightly worrying but at long last the Government would be getting a good idea of what life was like for us poor common citizenry.
Unfortunately it would lead to the new ‘Anti-Terrorism, restraint of the populace, the government can do whatever it bloody well likes’ Bill being passed unanimously through a terrified Parliament and an increase in fuel and alcohol duty to pay for the forty foot titanium wall that would be built around Westminster as a result.
Still
I’d bar him just to avoid the hassle.
Unfortunately it would lead to the new ‘Anti-Terrorism, restraint of the populace, the government can do whatever it bloody well likes’ Bill being passed unanimously through a terrified Parliament
We already have that mate so what’s the difference? We have our backs up because of it. Now, if the dirtbags hadnt provoked us…but of course they think us English are too soft. They ought to read a few English history books mate. We are anything but.
This is just the beginning mate! In other words, they asked for it so they are gonna ‘kin get it!
If you know English history, and i’m quite sure you know a lot of it, then you’ll realise that we werent gonna take the scums shite forever mate. Have these anti English idiots never heard of Hereward the wake, Robin Hood, Edric the Wild Englishman, King Harold, or King Alfred the great? They should read about what these people stand for. They stand for England and so do we!
To hell with Gordon Brown and the rest of them.
I would thank you for your comment were it not the kind of nationalistic drivel that does nothing than make my ears bleed.
I’m fully aware of characters such as Robin Hood and Hereward the Wake but entirely unaware that their method of rebellion was to bar King John and William the Conquerer from their inner city pubs.
As you seem so keen to highlight the strength of the English character in relation to this subject, I may as well tell you that the campaign to bar Alistair Darling originated in Edinburgh which is in Scotland not England.
Quite where you are attempting to go with this flag waving bullshit is rather beyond me. Are you perhaps suggesting that barring the Chancellor from a ragtag collection of public houses that he would never have frequented anyway is the beginning of some wider and more general uprising?
To be perfectly honest it would speak volumes about the supposed, mythic notion of shared national commonality of the English in that its populace remains passive and unmoved whilst its social infrastructure is torn to shreds, its public services eviscerated, its workers rights sidelined, its economy mismanaged, its culture replaced with materialistic driven soap opera derived bullshit, its armed forces committed to a costly, unjustified and Godforsaken conflict as part of some conglomerate drive for oil, the desolation of its city centres, the curbing of its right to protest, the erosion of its civil liberties, the repeated dismissal of electoral or constitutional change and of course a housing market that comfortably seperates the well off from the completely fucked.
However when faced with an extra 4 pence on a pint of beer, enough is enough and its time to fetch Grandads decommissioned service revolver and lead the charge against the Houses of Parliament.
Good luck with that mate.