What is it exactly about 2pm that spells ‘bored, tired and underenthused’? The day’s tanking along in a happily unproblematic fashion, the Greek is making more sense than usual, even Plato is making more sense than usual and then suddenly wham, bam! Welcome to fatigue central. It’s always at 2pm and I’ve tested this by not having a watch on and being otherwise unaware of the time so that when this feeling of general apathy and despondency descends I go outside to check the clock tower to see there is some kind of link; needless to say it’s usually within five minutes or so of it turning two. This isn’t exactly idiosyncratic I know and there’s plenty of people who get the same kind of mid-afternoon dip, I think it’s why we tend to have a coffee break around about then. On the continent of course they all just disappear for the afternoon and sleep, which is more to do with the heat of the sun than any biological clock deciding it’s had enough and wants to snooze but I like the concept myself. Sleeping in the afternoon when it’s quiet and peaceful, maybe just after lunch when you decide to sit back in your armchair with a copy of Private Eye and feel your eyelids drooping, nice comfy slippers, maybe a cigarette as a treat; I think it appeals to the cat in me (the snoozing not the cigarette) or perhaps I’ve just hit Middle Age way too early and it’s all downhill from here.
Given there seems to be a general tendency to start shutting down on a few cylinders come the mid-afternoon I can tell you for a fact that there’s one thing you really don’t want to do and that’s afternoon drinking. Seriously I haven’t done it for a good long while now but it’s a killer it really is, I mean one pint’s enough to put you out of kilter for the rest of the day and once you reach that stage you figure you may as well be hung for the sheep, one pint turns to two, turns to ten, turns to cocktails, turns to waking up in the morning next to a girl who you figure could be called Jennifer, or maybe Caroline but for the life of you you just can’t remember and so you slip out and wait for the CSA to get a hold of you.
That might just be me but if I’m going anywhere with this it’s something along the lines of ‘don’t drink in the afternoon, it’s an all-round bad idea’, and try and avoid one night stands (though to be honest there’s not generally much standing involved) either way they’re much more trouble than they’re worth believe me.*
*A friend told me
