My view? Survival is an indifferent matter and species are programmed to keep on going no matter what and ideas as to whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing are, I believe, largely irrelevant. You see there’s the largely cynical view that we don’t deserve to survive, which is hilarious if you’re approaching it from a moral perspective because so what if we’re a species that rapes, kill, slaughters its own and extends that slaughters to other species? So what if we’re so cruel that we invented the whole concept of cruelty and with our abstracted monkey brains came up with the most barbaric of tortures and executions? Unless you believe that there is a God or gods, which unless you don’t know me you know I don’t, what the hell has the moral got to do with anything when we’re talking about survival? You check the rape of the Sabine women as a point in hand because one civilization realized it didn’t have enough women and so effectively raped a whole state in order to keep itself going, did they deserve to be destroyed because of their imposition of suffering upon others? If they did then it was a while in the making and quite frankly the only people going around saying they either did deserve destruction or not happens to none other than us, no God, no flying monkeys in the sky, no omnipotent dolphins call the shots on this one, what matters is survival. No, if we’re talking purely morally here then if our species commits gross acts of immorality and inflicts suffering on all and sundry, and hell on fire just take a look at the century in which I was born if you’re looking for examples, there’s nothing in all of that to say that we don’t deserve to survive except the poetic justice that failing writers like me rejoice in. Conversely if we’re a species that comes up with beautiful music, art and poetry, if we come up with systems of government like democracy or socialism, if we’re a species that looks after its sick, disabled, and dying, if we’re a species that educates its young and feels love for others so the hell what? Does that mean we deserve to survive, because who’s keeping score here really?

 Is this a cynical piece detailing my irreverent care for mankind? If you think that’s the case then in all seriousness keep reading because my oft used line that a cynic is what optimists call a realist hits home here. Let’s cut the bullshit on this one and talk about what we really deserve, and boy isn’t that a word fraught with all manner of preconceptions? What we deserve is a logical consequence of our actions in context of the world around us, if I inject myself with a lethal strain of the flu then I deserve to die, not because of anything fluffy here but because that’s a logical consequence of my action and it doesn’t matter if I was some lovely guy who gave the world light and laughter, the effect follows the cause and that’s the only thing I deserve, all else is us and our moral sense of good and bad. Because, my frowning friend, dessert in a moral sense is something we’ve made up and it very rarely makes any sense as such. People die in a miserable fashion, people contract cancer for no particular reason, people get hit on the head by falling stars, it happens and then we make sense of it later, we say ‘he was such a nice guy and he didn’t deserve that’ but let’s put it this way, if you walk down a pavement next to a busy road then you do deserve to get hit by a drunk driver who decides to tie his shoe laces at the moment he passes you. Why? Because it’s a possible consequence of walking next to busy traffic; now odds are that you won’t get hit by a drunk driver but if you do then it isn’t because you were a wicked, evil person who upset God and got struck down for your heinous hubris it is simply because it could happen. We then try and make sense of it with our funny little monkey brains and we say you did deserve it in moral sense or you didn’t deserve it in a moral sense but it’s entirely irrelevant to the cause and effect that got you killed.

However, and it’s a big however.

You’re dead because of the drunk driver, it was a risk you took walking by the road and it’s unfortunate that it happened, we could credibly say it wasn’t really your fault, I mean what else were you going to do? Hide under your bed for the rest of your life? Then when some rogue state drops a nuclear weapon on your head would we say you deserved it? Well in a sense yes, we all deserved it because having one of those things go off is just a potential consequence of us all letting them exist in the first place, which is something of a moral choice so we begin to see ethics sneaking back in through the back door here. The drunk driver, let’s just say he feels remorse for what he’s done and has to live with the awful knowledge he knocked down and killed another human being, does he deserve to feel that? Well yes he does because it was a potential consequence of drinking and driving, so his ethical decision has real relevance to what he deserved. Nonetheless you both equally deserved to not be run down and killed and to get away with drinking and driving and just have it as a shameful story you occasionally tell when you get drunk, again because both outcomes could potentially follow from your respective decisions.

Now if no one in the world was to drink and drive then we could legitimately state that no one in the world deserves to get hit by a drunk driver, the reason obviously being that it cannot happen but you’d still deserve to get run down and killed by a senior citizen who couldn’t see properly and suffered a stroke as he was driving past you, because that could happen. We’d again say morally that you didn’t deserve it but again we’d be making some very high minded claims about universal dessert, what matters here is that

1
P1: You made a decision to walk by the road
P2: There is a very slight possibility that you may be struck down and killed by a senior citizen.
P3: You are aware of this possibility
C1: You actively and knowingly took the risk of being struck down and killed by a senior citizen; in a sense therefore you deserve to be struck down and killed.

Compare that with our wonderful world where nobody drink-drives.

2
P1: You made a decision to walk by the road
P2: It is not possible to be knocked down and killed by a drunk driver, because they do not exist.
P3: You are aware that this is the case
C2: You actively and knowingly did not take a risk of being struck down and killed by a drunk-driver; you really don’t deserve to have that happen.

In the case of the first argument you’re figuring your chances of being hit are infinitesimally small, and additionally you are far less responsible for the outcome of your action than is the drunk driver, but you’re not completely irresponsible for the outcome; let’s look at the drunk driver calculation given that we don’t live in a wonderful world in which people don’t drive whilst under the influence.

3
P1: You made a decision to drive whilst shitfaced
P2: It is a strong possibility that you will be unable to fully control your vehicle
P3: It is therefore a strong possibility that you will have an accident
P4: It is a strong possibility that someone other than yourself will be hurt as a result
C3: Therefore you actively and knowingly took the risk that you would likely as not hurt another person; you deserve[1] to feel the shame, guilt and remorse that could result.

Okay I’m sure there’s plenty to disagree with here but let’s keep this rolling, what seems to be emerging about what we deserve or don’t is something about possibility, awareness, and responsibility. When I say possibility I mean those things that can possibly happen, this includes having a satellite fall on your head, when I say awareness I mean your knowledge that this possibility exists, and when I say responsibility I mean your personal involvement as an active agent in any given situation. Right! In our particular scenario we’re going to quickly conclude that responsibility is mostly with the drunk driver, we could also say that he was more aware of the possible risks of what he was doing and we could even go as far as to say that this was because the apparent risk was much greater. In the case of the victim we can conclude that he was responsible for what happened only inasmuch as he was walking down the street, that he was far less aware of the possible risks (unless he was a very strange and fearful chap indeed) and that the reason for this is because the apparent risk was much less.

BUT!

In both cases we have all three factors albeit in differing quantities, both victim and perpetrator were (arguably, okay?) aware of a possible outcome and were responsible for taking the risk all the same. As such both people deserve to have this happen to them if we define ‘dessert’ as the outcome of a personal decision. Note that I’m not going to talk about apportioning blame, or pity, or getting bogged down regarding issues of fairness or justice, I’m talking purely about cause and effect here[2].

Where the matter gets confusing is where you do act in a moral or amoral manner and that directly leads to a consequence, for instance let’s say you spend your life being mean-spirited, rude, and exploitative then we might say you deserved to be sad and alone and maybe we’ve got something approaching a substantial basis on which to build an argument. If you’re a nasty piece of work then a possible, indeed probable consequence of your ethical decision to fuck people over is that people get sick and tired of you and you end up embittered and alone but again it isn’t because that is what the universe dishes out to you per se but instead a weighting of the odds in favor of you being a lonely git. The truth of the matter is that a lot of mean-spirited, exploitative people don’t end up embittered and alone, indeed it seems that a great deal of truly nasty people lead pretty happy lives and die with more toys than they were born with and again you can try and make sense of that through some theological or spiritual paradigm but fact of the matter is: it’s just a possible consequence of being a ruthless, exploitative person because maybe you’re so good at it that your ‘just dessert’ never comes up.

Again if we take this step by step we could say that

P1: You make a decision to be rude, obnoxious and exploitative
P2: It is entirely possible that you can be all three and yet still not alienate everybody around you; you’ve just got to be canny about it.
P3: You are aware of this fact
C4: You actively and knowingly take the risk of alienating everybody around you; you deserve to be happy and successful just as much as you deserve to be miserable and alone, what matters is how good you are at fooling others.

This might be something of a long winded conclusion but if you’re getting the idea then something is going right. What matters is our big three, possibility, awareness, responsibility and as you can see from this example our fellow is aware that it is possible to be a cunt and get away with it and he makes a personal decision to run the risk, we’d say it would be horribly unfair if he does get away with it but I’m not interested in issues of fairness here, I’m interested in what is and what is not possible and what people deserve.

So where are we when it comes to the destruction of the planet or the extinction of our species? Where’s the ethical side of that one? If you want to go down the Hobbes route and say we’re a bunch of wretched savages and we deserve to be destroyed because we’re a nasty bunch and nasty people shouldn’t survive then personally I think you’re making a redundant argument, however fashionably dystopian it might be[3]. If on the other hand you say that a nasty, squabbling bunch of exploitative savages that carry such an ethic through to their natural environment, plundering the earth of its resources and utilizing its mastery of self-destruction to build masses of atomic weapons whilst merrily burying its collective head in the sand regarding the gradual death of the biosphere, deserves to perish then I think you’re more on the right track. It depends where you see ethics coming into the issue because I don’t think it is so much an ethical matter but a simple logical one.

If survival is an indifferent matter then you’ve got to figure out what role ethics might play and whether it is important or not. When it comes to whether we deserve to die or not we shouldn’t run about preaching fire and brimstone because of Man’s many, many sins, we should talk about the logic of survival because until the world turns into the collective suicidal consensus of Logan’s Last Symphony[4]  we will, by and large, attempt to survive no matter what. We deserve to continue existing or perish in the attempt largely due to what safeguards we put in place against possible threats, so getting the hell off this planet and colonizing space is a big one because come one day something’s going to happen to this cooling ball of rock and if we haven’t had the foresight to start hedging our collective bets then we can all kiss our precious arses goodbye. Would we deserve this because we were selfish, greedy, hostile, overgrown apes, well maybe we would because that nature in us prevented us from pulling together and building a couple of spaceships before either an errant meteorite or the entropy of our own self destructive capacity caught up with us.

I’ll go over it again using something similar to my previous attempts at forging a cogent argument.

P1: We, as a species, make a decision to not colonize space (for whatever reason) or develop anti-meteorite missiles, or keep Bruce Willis on standby, whatever!
P2: It is a possibility that a meteorite will strike the earth and destroy our environment
P3: We, as a species, are aware of this fact.
C5: We actively and knowingly decide to take the risk of being annihilated by a meteor strike therefore we do deserve to be destroyed.

If we know it’s a risk, if we don’t decide to deal with it then we almost certainly deserve to become extinct and I’ll say this now, it doesn’t matter if we didn’t colonize space, develop missiles whatever because we were busy feeding, clothing and educating the entire planet regardless of age, sex, colour, creed, or religion[5], it doesn’t matter if we’ve laid down our weapons, joined hands in peace and stopped raping the earth. Such highly commendable activities would certainly reduce the risk of us becoming extinct through nuclear Armageddon or the sudden Malthusian hangover of centuries’ worth of resource depletion granted but if the possibility remains for sudden cosmic catastrophe and we do sweet fuck all about it even though we know it could happen then it’s just tough shit and we would deserve it.

Now I think I missed out the idea of being able to prevent something terrible from taking place, which is of some real importance when we’re talking about emigrating from the planet but let’s just say that we’re busy building our rocket ships and doing the head count for the first colonizers of the moon and all of a sudden we get blind-sided by a planetary body the size of Mercury and wiped out, say we haven’t even got as far as building rocket ships and we’re trying to figure out how we could possibly survive on another planet or satellite and we get wiped out. Do we deserve it then? I mean we were actively doing something about the risk of extinction from that particular threat it’s just we were too late. I think in such cases we could think about collective responsibility I mean I’ve been using the 1^st person plural pretty liberally here so you could ask questions about who ‘we’ might be? Do we apportion the responsibility for our survival to the current generation as well as the previous ones, what if a future generation happens to figure out what’s going on and tries to make amends but it’s all just too late; you could say the human race as an historical whole would deserve it’s destruction but could you say the poor sods who were trying to make things better deserved it, that is, in my cold way of talking about dessert?

In the first example where the human race is busy trying to save itself from a possible threat and then in an ironic display of timing gets taken out by that particular threat then maybe you could say it wasn’t deserved, after all the responsibility was largely (scrub that, it would have to be entirely if my theory is to work) out of our collective hands; the same applies if all of a sudden a giant Black Hole opened up and snuffed out the entire universe but now we’re just getting silly. The point I think I might be trying to make in such instances is that what we deserve and what we don’t would be all rather irrelevant if we got totaled by such bizarre or untimely mishaps. It’d be small comfort if we let ourselves off the hook and said ‘well we really didn’t deserve that’ just as the meteor hit home, especially as I’d be dead and my theories on what we did and didn’t deserve would be destroyed with the rest of the planet. No I’ve speculated enough and no one wants to read more from my ‘Ladybird Book of Astrophysics’ perspective on the universe.

Ultimately I think it is an ethical issue but not because of God, or the soul, or what’s good or bad; people are perfectly entitled to ask the question of ‘why’ we deserve to survive but I hope I’ve made it clear that the final arbiter of that one is on whether the human race takes responsibility to combat the risks to its continued survival. Why we’d continue to survive if we commit murder, go to war, and punish our children with our own mistakes should simply be looked at as a logical issue in that the longer we continue to act in such a manner the more we push our luck as to whether one day we’ll destroy ourselves, and we’d deserve it wholly but not because it was right or wrong but simply probable. This is no counsel of despair and I hope I’ve avoided the trap of bitterly thinking ‘of course we deserve to be destroyed because we’re bastards’ and I’ve already stated that I think that’s just redundant, poetic fancy. What matters as always are the facts on the ground, which are simply that we’re a species like any other and threats to our survival are credible and real, we do as a whole wish to continue to exist and I firmly hope and believe that we’d like to continue to exist safely, happily, and fairly[6]and that this desire should be treated as the ethical issue that it is and seen in conjunction with the wholly accordant issues of war, cruelty, environment, social and economic justice, care, and cooperation. Because I’m pretty sure that if you want to start colonizing space you’re going to have to start working with others and goddamn but I won’t be happy until I’ve got my own Battlestar.

Given there seems to be a general tendency to start shutting down on a few cylinders come the mid-afternoon I can tell you for a fact that there’s one thing you really don’t want to do and that’s afternoon drinking. Seriously I haven’t done it for a good long while now but it’s a killer it really is, I mean one pint’s enough to put you out of kilter for the rest of the day and once you reach that stage you figure you may as well be hung for the sheep, one pint turns to two, turns to ten, turns to cocktails, turns to waking up in the morning next to a girl who you figure could be called Jennifer, or maybe Caroline but for the life of you you just can’t remember and so you slip out and wait for the CSA to get a hold of you.

That might just be me but if I’m going anywhere with this it’s something along the lines of ‘don’t drink in the afternoon, it’s an all-round bad idea’, and try and avoid one night stands (though to be honest there’s not generally much standing involved) either way they’re much more trouble than they’re worth believe me.*

*A friend told me

I’ll be adapting as much as possible and hopefully it should be a pleasant distraction from Plato and Greek legal prose.

Dreams, Medoc, dreams that linger.

All the world is aflame and from it comes the only thing we can ever hope to be, we rise up or we don’t but so far I’ve gone with the former and I will continue to do so until someone puts me out permanently. Flickering sparks, molten dreams, ghosts by night and averted eyes by day but believe me when I say I’ve remembered what failure means and I am fighting mad.

It’s late so I will keep this as short as I can, you see I’m getting better these days and as such I try to keep to the program, late nights don’t make for the better happier boy. You’ll forgive me, or perhaps you won’t, if I tell you that you’ve been flitting through my thoughts like some ghost that refuses to be put to rest. Haunting by night, fleeting by day but I still find myself distracted from my books by the certainty that you just danced through my head and with some spectral flourish disappeared before I could properly lay eyes upon you. It is, my gentle reminder of the inevitable, as though at times I were haunted as much as any man could be by dreams that linger well beyond the realm of sleep but these days I don’t try to drink the shades away no, I merely steel myself as best I can and batter down what remains of the daylight.

Sunt aliquid manes as the poet once said and I know you’ll hate me for saying it but our good, lovesick fool was right after all.

Yours nocturnally,

Boy

Still, attempting to be more disciplined and better at prioritizing work and personal projects is my unofficial New Year’s Resolution and so a more productive approach to writing has become something of a work in progress. Balancing the fact that the most important work is that for my degree with the knowledge that I do like to vary my day between work proper and creative projects is quite the juggling act but fortunately things seem to be on track. So it goes that after working at my Greek and picking through Plato’s Republic premise by painstaking premise I put the books to one side, shut out the world and write 1000 words for my next book, no more, no less. I don’t stop until I’ve got my thousand and when I’ve got them I call a halt, treat myself to a coffee and go for a walk or nose about the Ashmolean Museum for a while.

I’ve never been the most disciplined or organised person in the history of human race but I have begun to try overcoming my incredible lack of structure and it’s nice to know that you’re being productive without psychologically ploughing yourself into the side of a mental health mountain. As for writing it’s been something I’ve been doing for years but I’ve never taken much of a professional approach to it and hence it has been mostly sporadic and inconsistent. Two books in now and I’ve realised it is something I want to do more often and my old view that I didn’t actually enjoy writing has been replaced by the realisation that I do enjoy it, which as you might imagine is something of a relief.

Nonetheless I’ve got my thousand for today, I’ve Greeked-out, and much more Plato and I’ll probably turn into some kind of Fascist, so without further ado there’s that model Titanic…

That’s the thing about me, I know how to have a good time.

Scott Carless is still single (as surprising as that might sound) form an orderly queue now girls…

The grand total turned out to be 20 days, just under three weeks, this in itself was horribly skewed by the freak occurrence of a two year stint but the mode was still roughly the same.

Having worked this out I immediately gave up on the project, retreated into a rather dour mood and reflected that I must be an unbearable to live with and that I clearly drive other people away. Happiness is not a fish you can catch, no, but I do have an airfix model of the Titanic to distract me from that bugging question of ‘why?’ so you know there’s a reason to keep going and all that.

So in many senses it has gotten easier to meet people but I’m pretty sure I’ve noticed a change for the worse over my relatively short time as an adult and I’m going to cast about and lay the blame rather randomly at the feet of communication technology; simply because there’s a pleasing paradox to the idea that devices designed for communication are responsible for a lack of it. The argument follows thus, you go into a coffee shop ostensibly to have coffee right? Wrong! Because you can get coffee easily and much more cheaply at home provided you’ve an ounce of brainpower, which just about everyone has, so what you’re really doing is going to the coffee shop to have coffee around other people because you’re essentially a gregarious creature and you like being around other people when it suits you. Okay but the problem is that you don’t want to look like the sad old git desperately casting about for someone to talk to so you take something along with you, like a book or maybe a little work you need to do, this provides you with an acceptable cover story ‘I’m not here because I’m lonely and single, no, I’m here to work on my Greek.’

Now some forms of pretence are better than others, if you’re reading a book then someone can comment on the book and bang you’ve got the beginning of a conversation, but the problem is the curse of the modern mobile telephone because if you were born after 1990 then you require constant synaptic input or you’ll probably pass out or have an aneurism or something equally unpleasant[1]. So in go the earplugs and out comes the blackberry, or the iphone, or the laptop or whatever flickering screen you need to keep yourself awake and then suddenly you’re stuck in a room full of people sitting on their own, listening to music on headphones, all drinking coffee in their own little bubble and can you get a conversation started? No you bloody well can’t.

The same applies to walking down the street it’s amazing just how many people seem to wander along with headphones jammed in, which precludes any reasonable chance you’ve got at being able to talk to them. Equally the fact that you’ve got telephones, which also act as internet terminals, allowing you to squander your time perusing Facebook, means that you’ve got your social circle there in the palm of your hand so why bother talking to the people around you? I can think of a reason why I would want to talk to the people around me and that would be the fact that I might get more than a single soundbyte sentence and a link to a youtube video from them and maybe me and that other person could actually, you know, talk like two adults. Nonetheless you get the same problem in pubs, in restaurants, in clubs etc. Everyone there is there in a group and the groups don’t mix, not until copious amounts of alcohol have been consumed and then contact is probably more likely to be hostile than friendly as people stagger about effing and blinding like sailors on shore leave.

Now I don’t think I can blame this all on mobile telephones although I wouldn’t mind trying because I fucking hate mobile telephones, I hate iphones, and I hate this whole culture of being permanently plugged in. It seems to be quite fashionable to be an absolute bore at the moment and to waste precious hours of life twiddling about with various applications on one’s telephone or showing everyone around you how clever your new toy is all while boring them to death. Additionally I think there’s a regional bias here because, not to make any sweeping generalisations, people in the South are a bunch of miserable, stuck up their arse gits who would sooner throw themselves from a tall building than socialise with one another while people in the North will actually talk with one another and generally come across as being friendly.

I may have wandered from the point here but let’s just say it’s difficult meeting people and all too often you feel more lonely in a city than you might if you were out walking upon a barren moor with nothing more than a cigarette and the open sky for company.